Upbringing of Men to Blame for 80% of Failed Marriages, Claims Nigerian Legal Practitioner

A Nigerian lawyer, Ilavbare Goldfish Rahmatulai, has asserted that the majority of marital failures, specifically 80%, can be attributed to the way men are raised. This declaration was made in a Facebook post on Sunday, October 11, 2026, where Rahmatulai shared insights garnered from her extensive experience counseling couples.

According to the politician and legal expert, her conclusion is drawn from mediating in at least 100 marriages over the past three years. While acknowledging that approximately 20% of significant marital issues stem from what she termed “naturally bad women,” Rahmatulai firmly placed the blame for the remaining 80% on men who she describes as irresponsible and undisciplined, and who were inadequately prepared for the responsibilities of commitment and accountability within marriage.

In her post, the lawyer emphasized that her observations were meant for “sober reflection” rather than to incite “anger or insults.” She reiterated her core finding: “In the last 3 years alone, I have sat down to counsel spouses in at least 100 marriages. If there is one primary lesson those sessions have taught me (and from my own lived experience), it’s this: most marriages fail because of how men are raised.”

Rahmatulai further elaborated, stating, “Don't get me wrong—about 20% of severe marital damage is done by naturally bad women. But the remaining 80% comes down to irresponsible, undisciplined men who were never prepared for the weight of commitment and accountability.”

She concluded her message with a call to action for the current generation of parents, specifically Generation X, to prioritize raising their sons better. “GEN X, let us do better with our children, especially our sons. There is still time. Good morning,” she urged.